A matchday routine that steadies you, not just the players

You have a warm-up for the players. You have a team talk. What you probably do not have is a routine for the person making every decision for the next two hours.

The night before: decide, then stop

Pick the starting side and the first substitution window the night before, and write them down. Late-night reconsideration is how coaches arrive already depleted.

One line in your notes: the one thing we are trying to do today. Not five things. One.

Arrival: ninety seconds alone

Before you speak to anyone, take ninety seconds by yourself — in the car, by the kit bag, anywhere. Read your one thing. Two slow exhales. Then go in.

This is the cheapest composure you will ever buy, and almost nobody does it.

Warm-up: coach the room, not the drills

While the players warm up, your job is scanning: who is quiet, who is overexcited, who arrived with something on their mind. Two short individual conversations before kick-off are worth more than any tactical instruction at half-time.

Team talk: three sentences

Where we are going. The one thing. A standard of behaviour. Anything longer and they stop listening at sentence four.

During the game: the ten-minute rule

Say nothing for the first ten minutes beyond encouragement. Watch, gather, then coach. Early instructions are usually anxiety wearing a tactical coat.

Use the three-second reset — feet, breath, next controllable — every time you feel the spike.

Half-time: two points, in this order

One thing that is working, one thing to change. Written on your hand if necessary. More than two points and nothing survives the walk back out.

Full time: the fixed sentence

Whatever happened, you finish with the same phrase every week. Players learn that your regard for them does not track the scoreline. That single repeated sentence is the most powerful piece of psychology available to a grassroots coach — and it costs nothing.

Afterwards: close the day

Write three lines before you go to bed: what worked, what did not, one action for Tuesday. Then the day is finished, and you are not still coaching it at two in the morning.